I'm leaving for Jordan in less than a week, but I can't seem to stay focused. I'm slipping back into what I like to call the "Spoiled Student Blues," which invariably end with me lying prostrate on the couch, protesting feebly that I can't go to the grocery store because I'd have to shower and it's only five in the afternoon - can't I take a nap first? Although it could be worse - I could be addicted to World of Warcraft.

I'm invariably happier when I'm on top of things, anyway. So, a brief list of what's left to accomplish before I embark on the Great Learning Arabic Expedition:

1. Figure out what gifts to bring. This is something that puzzling every Arabic student I know. The website for our program keeps telling us to bring "gifts for the people." What gifts? How many? For whom? I did find a website written by a Jordanian that clarifies a little: apparently, the giving of small gifts or money in exchange for hospitality is very common in Jordan. It's just like our habit of bringing wine or chocolate to a fancy dinner party, only it happens much more often. Supposedly, small items common to your local area are ideal. However, this information comes from teh Internets, and I'm not sure how much I trust it.

2. Try and remember my Arabic. I took a semester of Arabic this past year, and at the end of the class I knew some Arabic. I knew it, I swear! Granted, I played many of those tricks experienced (read: lazy) students play - I memorized for the test, I learned to distinguish words by sight instead of actually learning what they meant, etc. However, I could still hold a very short conversation in Arabic at the drop of a hat. Then I student taught for a semester, and it all vanished. My scholarship program called me to test my knowledge of the language, and the conversation went something like this:

Teacher: "Something incomprehensible in Arabic."
Me: Um...ana mesh fahma. (I don't understand.)
Teacher: Okay, well, I know you'll know this one. "Something incomprehensible in Arabic."
Me: ...leh-uh. (No.)
Teacher: Well, what do you know?
Me: Ana asmee Heroine. (My name is Heroine.)
Teacher: And what else?
Me: That's about it.

This is a situation that needs to be remedied promptly. I will not be the class idiot.

3. Prepare myself for a culture with strict gender roles and expectations. An overall-wearing, knee-scraping, baseball-capped tomboy I am not, but I'm not girly, either. The fact that I'm a raging feminist bitch doesn't help. I was pretty pissed off when the Native American tribe I taught for didn't let the girls in my class play the drums or throw arrows because that was "men's work" and a "boy's game," and that was one day out of the semester. I'm not sure how well I'm going to cope with wearing long-sleeved shirts in summer, not being able to sit in the front seat of a cab, and in general negotiating what I fear will be a deeply misogynistic culture on a daily basis. I'm fascinated by the Middle East, and I like what I've heard about Jordan, but I struggle enough trying to gain respect as a small, polite, young-looking person in my own culture; I might completely lose it if people start openly holding my gender against me as well.

Other things belong to this list, like sewing a button onto my new pants, getting a haircut, placating my parents, etc. They just aren't interesting.

Observation of the day: My (older, gray-haired) boyfriend and I went out to eat for lunch today and were observed by a young blond and her date. We thought they looked like a cute couple. She looked horrified at the sight of him patting me on the leg and visibly rolled her eyes as she passed us. I cheerfully wished herpes on her retreating back. Mental note: don't wear the hoodie with the pink comic strips in public. It makes me look like I'm twelve.